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work day
Author: Mommy (2008/05/20 \| 8:42 pm)
What do you miss when you are at work? Is it really that hard to spend all the time you can with the people you love the most? We are together practically 24/7. Like Grandma and Grandpa. Some people can take it. Being close like that. I never imagined that I would like anyone enough
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My first hair cut
Author: cash (2008/03/07 \| 10:39 am)
Mommy FINALLY marched me next door to Germaine's house and demanded that he cut my hair because it was too fuzzy. I felt like a chick with all that fuzz on my head. She held me in her arms and Germaine just went around my head and cut off my fuzz. Now I really look like a big boy. I keep telling Momma I am not a little guy but she insists on calling me one. I keep whining and whining and hoping that when I do this she will know that I am a big boy and not her baby. It's been a cool couple of weeks. We went to Las Vegas and bowled. I kept up the entertainment by carrying an 8 pounder around and yelling strike. Let's see if the studio is prepared and ready with that footage... we may have to get back to you on that one. We saw a princess and ate some cake. Papa's friend Worwick was the prince. We were all so very happy. Lilly has been coming over a lot lately too. We love playing with her because she is just so much fun. I squeal when I know she's coming over because when it's Ryan, Ali, Lilly and me we take over the house and drive the adults to drink. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Chocolate MILK!
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"Are you happy?"
Author: Mommy (2008/02/26 \| 11:41 pm)
"Yes" I say as Cash lays on top of me this morning. Such an abstract question for such a little guy. He squeezes my face and give me one of those great big smackaroos. "Are you happy?" I ask him back. "Yesh" he says in his sweet little way.
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"I was Pretend"
Author: Mommy (2008/02/06 \| 12:37 pm)
"My chubbers is broken" Cassius tells me in the tub. I tell him that it isn't and that he needs to ask his Daddy (or I should say Bopa) why his tinker isn't broken to which his father was very happy to explain to him why it wasn't broken when it gets big. Then there was this new thing about "I want to eat my poop and drink my pee." You can only imagine how cute it was when I held up his pee pee container close to his mouth and said "Go on drink it" Slurp slurp slurp were the noises he made then he looks up at me and says "I was pretend" with one of his big big smiles. I just thought it was one of the cutest things he's said since he's started talking incessently. It just took a good smell of the 'ol poopy diaper to solve that other problem. Not a day goes by that I don't get to see a million smiles. It makes me feel like a good mother. Although don't think those days with Grandma and Pop go without their many many merits. I've been feeling better. If you have MS and feel bad on Copaxone it's because it's not the right drug for you. Now that I'm on Rebif I feel like I can more more freely and don't have to sleep all of the time. It sounds like a cheesy commercial I know but honestly... I felt like I was Rip Van Wrinkle. I'm not really used to being aware so much of the day. It's nice to get some things done. We haven't posted any photos in a long time. We will soon.
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Pride or "Heo comes anodo one!"
Author: Josh (2008/01/13 \| 5:58 pm)
It's been quite a while since my last Journal... I am not very good at keeping up... so much happens and I get so enthralled with the experience that writing about it gets put on the back burner way to often... anyway, enough for excuses... Cassius hit a huge milestone the other day. His first plop in the potty. It is funny how excited I get now over such things now, but the pride associated with watching Cassius change and develop is overwhelming. He has been very good about peeing... he doesn't even use a stool anymore and doesn't need much help except sometimes to get his britches back up, but pooping has been another story. He has been resisting that a bit... not that he shouldn't... I mean he is only 2 1/2 and the only one in his daycare class that wears underwear to class. I try not to beam too much when the other parents look at me in amazement when they see his little undies poking out of his pants. So we have been attempting to bribe him into using the pot for number 2 for a while now. We had a huge lollipop that we got from Sea World that he has been eying for a few months now and we keep telling him that it will be his if he does the deed. Last week he started to express more interest in the book Potty Time and he has had me read it 3 or 4 times a day lately. Then came the big moment. I was wroking on my computer and he raced in to the bathroom and stopped at the door and yelled at me, "BaPa, I got poo poo." "You want to put it in the potty?" I asked, jumping up and trying to contain my excitement. He replied with a "mmmhmmm." I rushed him over to the toilet and carefully removed his pants as to not smear the beginnings of his already started business (Ewwww!!!) and sat him down. He looked so happy with himself it made my heart swell. I told him how proud I was of him every time I heard a plop. He grinned at me and gave me a slightly sheepish proud smile I have not seen before. Then he would hold up his finger and proclaim, "Heo comes anodo one!" I have been proud go this little stinker before, but nothing quite has compared to the feeling I got that day... he was so happy with himself he did not know quite how to respond to my praise so he repeated what I had said a few times, "I am veory veory pwoud of you, Bapa." (So cute) After relishing the experience for 15 minutes or so, I presented him with the lollipop and he ran out into the living room bare-assed to show Cat and Sandy his lollipop, yelling all the way, "I pooed in potty! I pooed in potty! So yeah! Maybe I will not have to make very many more trips to the store for diapers... WHOOP!
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I want some candy
Author: cash (2007/12/26 \| 1:59 pm)
The day after chrismas just sucks... thank God it's Ryan's birthday today so I can get an "unpresent".
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I wish
Author: Mommy (2007/08/16 \| 8:18 am)
I could be a Degas or Cassat. But this is the closest I will ever get.
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Poo diary
Author: cash (2007/07/30 \| 5:11 am)
"Casha are you sick?" Mommy asked me. I thought about it for a minute and answered "Yes" even though it sounds kind of funny when I say yes... it takes me a while to get that darn S out of my mouth sometimes. That's why I call myself "Casha". It's been a rough couple of days. I pooed so bad it ran down my leg. Momma was being selfish and looking at the yard sale goodies and told me to go see poppa. Come to think of it Poppa always changes my stinky diapers... He says he can't smell but I laid a fart on him yesterday that made him fart back. I won because of the poo problem and it was a nice wet, stinky fart. I love my Boo. There is nothing better than cuddling next to my Boo after a hard day of playing and chubbing around. I can finally see chubbers. I pull the skin back and laugh at him because of the way he tickles. I like this not wearing diapers but sometimes when I am free balling it, as papa says, my balls get stuck to my shorts. It's a guy thing... some of you just won't get it.
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Summer's going fast
Author: Mommy (2007/07/30 \| 5:08 am)
We planted at least 100 sunflowers this spring. I tiered them because we put them as a joke against the wall. Then I planted some grass. He-He (Sandy, our other Queen) noticed we were starting to get some grass and decided to make it even better by tilling the rocky grass and building a garden. I had no idea we were going to be its keeper. The bees from the sunflowers have pollinated the beans, cucumbers (two varieties), strawberries, peppers, bok choi, tomatoes, watermelon, honeydew, corn, squash, zuccani. At first I had a helper plant the bok choi and then I forgot when I planted squash what was under it since there were no signs after three weeks. My best helper put seeds everywhere including between my little mounds. I forgot to label everything, as I am famous for. The corn was pretty obvious but by the time we found our first cucumbers on the inside of the garden they were large. There are a few things I can't remember what they are but it sure is a lot of fun having things grow. I've never done a garden nor brought anything from seed to fruition save the "Cash meister" (George's pet name). Doing all this work has made me so aware of how things will go next year. I know I want to plant more sunflowers where they are going to get more attention and even though it's fun to guess what is what it should be nice to know. So that's what we've been doing with a lot of our summer. Cassius amazes us with his exceptional growth more and more each day. After two years of asking "Whatcha doin?" he finally asked me the other day and even answered. When they tested him he got this one that no one ever gets and that was of a group of kids walking. We started potty training early this summer. Cash was interested and we went to Target to get him the musical potty. I got my first gift the day before my birthday. He put it in the pot and I was just ecstatic. That's been one time and the other was when we were all out swimming and his pot was there. It was rather tragic now that he's pooed in the pool twice. I could tell the second time but still it was too late. He's been sick today. Today is the first time I've slept until one since he came. Then we went back to sleep and it was six when we woke back up. I still felt weak because one of my patches had not stuck to me so tight. The micropore taps really helps with that problem. I love the summers. It's just not getting hot and I feel so good. I still spend a lot of time in bed but when I can move it's really nice. I still have the opportunities to be with my child. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be separated every day by working. I know I can't move so much now but we have so much help. Josh works from home, one of the days he goes with the grandparents, and miss Ola helps on the days I can't move so much. On those days I can sometimes stay awake until 4. Sometimes I can't sleep for a day. It really helps to have someone help me so much. When Ola leaves or sometimes when she's here we water the garden. She loves hot peppers so I give her a lot of them. We are waiting for the Habenero plant to produce a pepper. Then after she's worn Cassius out for the day we eat a little lunch and then take a nap through the worst of the heat. Why is three o’clock always the time everything changes? I say that this time... two to four... is the hottest time of the day. Cash usually sleeps until four and by then Josh is almost or is finished with his workday. I'm lucky I have it pretty good. Plus Cassius is such a joy. He went to give Poppa a rice cake and scared Josh because he was sleeping and he threw the crumbs from holding the cake too hard were everywhere. He was so cute when he asked to give poppa one; Cassius is so considerate that way. Josh barked at him and he came crying to me. He's learning how to pit us against one another and it's hard to keep a united front from all of us because he's just so damn cute and who can resist? I don't think people take children's emotions into consideration so much because they have forgotten what it's like to develop emotions or they are worried about their own emotions. Maybe we are too lenient with him but when he was crying because poppa snapped he ran to me and wouldn't let poppa kiss him and make it better so I asked him if he spanked poppa if he would feel better. It's hard to get him not to hit Ryan lately so it would be better if he learned how to spank then hit to alleviate his frustrations with what's going on when his feelings get hurt or he erupts into a tantrum. So we spanked poppa together and Cassius started to feel better and then he went to poppa after that for some loving. This is in no means to b$#ch-slap Josh (believe me I am no angel) or say he was wrong for snapping but it was nice to see he could get over his bad feelings faster since Poppa is so loving by making sure you know he loves you even if I've been a monster too he likes to lavish me with love. We usually try to talk him through his tantrums and it works for the most part but I can tell he's going to be like me and take his time alone for a while to get over his emotions and start giggling again. He has such an infectious laugh. It sings through your heart and reverberates through your soul soothing all your painful emotional boo boos. He has healed me so much. Having my ray of sunshine has made me so aware of so many things. It's so funny how people treat you when you have no kids and are animate about not doing so. I used to be like that but when I knew he wasn't goin anywhere I ventured into a world I had no intentions of joining and I found that people took me a lot more seriously. I can't imagine not having this little guy in my life now. He is protected and loved by so many people and gets so much attention when we go out that I hope it never changes for him but at the same time I worry. When I have boo boos or I get too serious he always turns me around and makes me feel better. It's been really hard to forget what other people are doing with their lives but it's so much better to fill my son's with all the love and attention he can get. I know he's a momma's and grandpa's (Pop) boy but he has Ryan around to knock him around too. (Ryan's naughty and has been caught naked with a couple of girls.) I love the little life we have carved out for ourselves. I love the garden, I love our roommates who are really tolerant of my needs and the chores I cannot tolerate, I love how we are a co-family raising our boys together and spending time with one another when we can. I never thought I could have a "normal" life again after living with my now EX husband but the wrinkles are slowly being ironed away. I have a lot more hope for the future and wish I felt the way I do in the summer. It's nice to move around some and give my kid the kind of attention he needs. I honestly can't imagine putting him in pre-school, which is what Sandy, keeps pushing us to do. "I could never do what you do." (Stay at home and spend so much time with one another) And I think how can she not spend so much time with hers. I couldn’t' imagine spending $700 a month to spend time with people that don't love him. I would rather he spend as much time with us as he can and THEN he can go to school when he has to although I fantasize about traveling through countries and teaching Cassius about other cultures that way. I'm sad for Ola that she can't go to her grandmother's funeral. She says it's the greatest event for everyone. They spend 40K killing 4 bulls a day and feeding the village for a month. They celebrate like mad. She was 101. She is from Nigeria and one of the most interesting people I have ever met. I'm proud that she can do the things she can and I value her advice. She teaches Cassius Nigerian and I wish I understood. She engages Cassius and I watch what she does and learn. She likes having us around so we can chat sometimes plus we get along. I can't imagine not being so nice. Like so many people here in LA we have made our home our little isolated castle with two kings and two queens that mesh together very well. If we had rented one-bedroom apartments we wouldn't have the quality of life we all enjoy. We've kind of been fishing for another place but Sandy says we got the best deal around and we should be trying to save some bucks so we can buy our own house. George is quite the handyman and can do some things to make our life here easier (mainly add a dishwasher). I bought this pink dress I never got to wear when I was young. It's my beautiful pink little ballerina type dress and I let Cash put it on. Then he screeched "on on on" yesterday morning. He didn't have a diaper on and farted a wet one and then started screaming that he pooed. It was everywhere all over my new dress (that Burgundy and Ally can wear). Then Cassius curled up on me for a couple of hours, which is rare. We went out to go to the park and found a yard sale with this rug that made the open dining/living room come together for $50. I saw Cash's poopey diaper and told him to go to poppa and he proceeded to get it on his shoes, in the new car (1996 Honda hatchback), all over his clothes, the street. It was everywhere. Ever since he's been lethargic and very clingy. I'm sad that he got so sick. Plus grandma and grandpa went up North to help Uncle Timb and A. Gabriella move to Seattle and they won't be home for two whole weeks. If Casha is sick for a spell hopefully he won't notice too much. I really wonder how we are going to shape Casha. When we were at the park I could look at some of these kids and see so many of the kids we grew up with. I knew them. I recognized how these creatures are going to evolve and wonder how some of them are going to break away from their destined manner of thinking. Paradigms of thinking and how we are ushered into a patriotic/religious/ambiguous system meant to sedate the masses into a way of thinking that ushers many of us into the long, separated lines of insecurity, shallowness, inability to develop survival skills to break through erroneous ways of dealing with issues that are supposed to help us evolve. Too many people are fed the line of crap that keep us running in circles. Tonight on "the Family Guy" Stewie said "“None for me, thanks, it’s gonna go straight to my vagina” “That's what girls worry about? Big vaginas?” which made us laugh too hard. I don't want Casha to get caught up in keeping people down. I want him to insight the kind of hope that I do in people too, even though I have so many demons whispering in my ears. You are so unique. You tell people "Thank you" for just about everything given to you. You have the most beautiful lips and if you have a child I am positive they will be passed on to your kids, which I hope you want because it's one of the greatest experiences in the world. I always said that I would rather have a dad that drove a truck instead of a Porsche and someone that loved me tremendously. Josh has those beautiful qualities. Everyone loves you. People stare at you and can't believe how awesome you are. People talk about you a lot. I felt like I was a beautiful person and now that I have you I feel twice as beautiful. Then people see us as a family and are so enamored that I think we give hope too. I just wish I had my health. I would give anything to be healthy. Even though I know what's going on with my body it still makes me feel like an inadequate mother although Natalie from Temple Judea says I am teaching you that sometimes I'm just sick and I have to take care of myself. You love to cuddle and you talk to your bo as if they were real. I never named the boys, I just called them boobs. We have a big kiddy pool and I've been able to play with you in the water. It makes me feel more human when the weightlessness takes away so many problems. I wish I could remember all the things I wanted to write about but I think this is enough. I must remark how tragically sad I am with some of the other mothers I’ve met. They are raising their kids alone and separating from their babies’ daddies around 2. So many single moms. It makes it hard to offer so much of myself so I’ve been very selective with whom I can be friends with. I have two mommas that I absolutely adore. Kathleen and Ana. They have real problems and are real people who are scared to be close because of all the weirdoes they have met. Plus society teaches us to be so nice that it gets overwhelming to be so alone and trying to share who you are. I am enamored of their kids and they are of you. Lucille was saying prayers and she mentioned you. And you talk about Connor a lot. I hope you keep that light and that people always give you the best attention in their heart because that’s what you deserve. I didn’t get what you’ve gotten as I grew up since there were four of us and my parents split for good when I was 8. You have way too many toys, You love tea, eat oatmeal or cereal, and love your bubba Gump shrimp shirt. You love to dance to Billy Idol’s “Dancing with myself” as well as “We all live in a Yellow Submarine”. “The wheels on the bus” and “clean up, clean up, clean up everybody everywhere…” Your body grows muscles everywhere and you can pick heavy things up and carry them for a little while. You love to be pushed in the laundry basket and fit on top of your daddy’s chest so perfectly. You have your daddy’s body. You are growing lean and long. I think you have my legs too. Your eyes and nose and mouth look like mine, especially from your cheeks up. You have the curl to your eyes like I do and the little triangles above your eye are like mine as well as the mole you have above your eyebrow which is the first one I have noticed. You are learning the art of temper tantrums which makes your father and I laugh sometimes. You are so loving, shy, thoughtful and considerate. I know one day I’ll ask “what happened?” So many people can’t believe you are so good natured. The only time you have problems is when you are tired or hungry. You mostly get whatever you want. Recently our neighbor, Germeine, Was sick. You had to go check on him next door and then that night you said many times how Germeine was sick. It took me a while before I understood what you said but naturally I have that mommy sense that works. You talk about Shamu a lot and it’s been a little bit since we went and saw him. Your memory for things that you love astounds me at your age. I wish I could have written more but now this is a novella and ‘tis very late and about that time. I love you with all my heart, kiddo. You make my heart sing.
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My best project
Author: Mommy (2007/05/10 \| 12:17 pm)
My project is almost two. It's really amazing to think of everything that has happened in the last two years... well really three. I don't think Josh and I could love each other any less. I think we love each other more and more each day as a matter of fact. Especially when we look at our son and what an amazing creature he is. Cassius is "petite" and we hear that from a lot of people but I would rather have a smart and beautiful little monkey than a tall imbicile but I think sometimes people can't just be nice and say that he is so beautiful or handsome. "He's pretty enough to be a girl" is something we heard again last week. We also hear that Cassius should be "that" kid in all the commercials and although I pulled down a "breakdown" from Actor's Access for Baby Geniuses III I find myself reluctant in putting him in "that" industry. I can't see myself enjoying sharing him that way with so many people. I am sure there is a lot going on those sets that helps kids but then again... you know... Brittney is all I have to say. Cassius will certainly most definately be our only child and in some ways that makes me a little sad because he's growing up and it's fast. I know lots of people talk about enjoying it while it lasts and they are most definately not as accurate as I wish they would have been. I can't believe how fast it really goes. Yesterday it started... I heard three is worse than two and I was hoping he would skip out on them but what would I expect from any child of mine? I am sure his tantrums are going to be nothing but monumential... in the way that people fear the next tidial wave like they do in Thialand. I imagine myself ducking in the corner as he gets a gun from one of his posse. He has quite the posse at two... you wouldn't believe all the gangstas he hangs out with. He holds his tumbs up and says "EEEHHHHHHHH" and beats on his drum,
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